Shelley Lindauer
Response to Readers

#1
I could not have been more excited by this week’s topic. I am a senior at the George Washington University and enrolled in a class on the psychology of sex differences. Currently we are discussing gender-based issues, such as whether gender is a biological or a social construct, and how people who are transsexual, intersexual and transgender fit in society today.

The writers certainly did a superb job at covering the unique roles the WRJ and the MRJ have. Yet the big picture seems to have been missed: how do these organizations mesh with evolving gender roles and concepts?

Respectfully,
Arielle Gingold 

As gender roles continue to evolve, the main emphasis for WRJ—and as Doug confirmed in his recent piece, for MRJ—is gender equality. We are speaking of spiritual, political, social, and economic equality. What will never happen, nor would we espouse such a goal!- is for anyone to expect that men and women will be the same. Each gender has its own unique characteristics and attributes. For instance, according to Dr. Judy Rosener, quoted in Jewish Woman magazine, "Men tend to lead in a linear, direct, top-down, command-and-control, results oriented style, while women adopt a more interactive, multi-tasking, collaborative and team oriented style, and are engaged in the process as well as the results." 

#2
Given the chance to defend, advance or articulate a vision of brotherhood and sisterhood groups, I am very disappointed that both authors chose to do none of these. Why should we have these auxiliary groups? What role(s) could they play in our congregations and in the Reform Movement? What does the future look like?

Thank you,
Jordan Sarick 

How I wish there was a simple, clear answer to these questions. The reality is, there is no "one-size-fits-all" vision for either sisterhood or brotherhood. As unique and individual as our congregations are, so are our women's and men's groups. Looking back, sisterhoods were the social action force of many congregations; today, social action committees fulfill that role. Sisterhood women were often our religious school and early childhood educators. Now, professionals fill those positions. Our sisterhoods are flexible and adaptable, willing to meet the needs of their home congregations. And if a congregation feels there is no special role the women need to fulfill, having women—and men—come together within the congregational setting, for whatever activity they choose, can only enhance the vitality and connectedness of the community. Perhaps a better question to ask is "Why not have an auxiliary group?"

#3
My 84-year-old mother isn’t comfortable at Friday night services anymore. She knew many prayers by heart and even the Sh’ma has changed for her. Sisterhood was a part of her temple social life. No organization was the same—not Hadassah or National Jewish Council, PTA or bridge friends.

In my dad’s senior years, brotherhood was the only connection he had with temple. He thought temple dues were too high as a senior who had handsomely supported the congregation when he had a family. Giving brass menorahs to Sunday school children and manning the booths for the Purim carnival were highlights for him and for my brother and sister and me.

Here were two organizations, institutions really, that did tzedakah, mitzvot, if you will, before we had Social Action or Tikkun Olam Committees. A family was in trouble, a brotherhood member was there. The congregation wanted to honor the years of service the rabbi’s assistant had given, the sisterhood knew how to do it.

Let us continue to respect the Union and our roots as a Movement; how are sisterhood and brotherhood still fulfilling these functions?

Joy Burnley Pocasangre
Bellevue, Washington 

Joy, many of our sisterhoods continue in the traditions you have described. The very essence of our local congregations has been enhanced by the work our sisterhoods and brotherhoods are involved in each and every day. Women of Reform Judaism continues to advocate daily for issues that are of particular concern to women, children, and families. In addition, our sisterhoods bring resolutions to our biennial delegate assembly for discussion and debate. If approved, WRJ provides our sisterhoods with the tools to effect change in their local communities. 

#4
I am concerned about the implications of a “Woman’s Torah Commentary.” This implies that our current Plaut Reform commentary is a men’s one, yet it already acknowledges the setting in which the Torah was written regarding gender roles. Do you think that this new commentary is divisive, causing further separation of men and women?

Steve Gerber
South Bend, Indiana 

The Torah: A Women's Commentary is another scholarly work for our Movement and the broader community to use for study and reflection. The written history and commentary of our tradition has been the domain of men. How wonderful that now, thirty-five years after the ordination of Rabbi Sally Priesand, we have so many brilliant female scholars, many of them, rabbis and educators, trained at our seminary. This work is meant to bring fresh eyes and a new approach to Torah. It is not meant to replace our beloved Plaut commentary, but rather to compliment it. It is not meant to be used only by women, but by women and men alike. What fascinating conversations will be generated by the differences between Plaut and The Torah: A Women's Commentary! 

#5
As the head of a woman’s group in the Netherlands, this discussion is very near to my heart. For us the woman’s group also offers women a role in Judaism that does not per se depend on the level of their Jewish knowledge and training, but on their making themselves available, their caring and wanting to help. Our woman’s group has a strong cultural role within the synagogue, looking to create cultural programs, as does another woman’s group here that I also belong to. But more and more often we are confronted with the question: What is the sisterhood good for, and what is their role in the twenty-first century? I don’t always have a satisfying answer to this.  

Kind regards,
Brenda Kaldenbach

You have already articulated one of the most aspects of sisterhood: "caring and wanting to help." Sisterhoods have always taken the position of, to paraphrase President Kennedy, asking not what their congregation could do for them, but what they could do for the congregation. What help does your congregation need?  Make sure your sisterhood is there to assist and execute. On a more social and very important, level, study after study has found that social ties reduce our risk of disease by lowering blood pressure, heart rate and cholesterol. Indeed, a landmark study done by UCLA proved that friendship among women was both the result—and the cure—of stress responses in women.

Doug Barden
Response to Readers

#1
I could not have been more excited by this week’s topic. I am a senior at the George Washington University and enrolled in a class on the psychology of sex differences. Currently we are discussing gender-based issues, such as whether gender is a biological or a social construct, and how people who are transsexual, intersexual and transgender fit in society today.

The writers certainly did a superb job at covering the unique roles the WRJ and the MRJ have. Yet the big picture seems to have been missed: how do these organizations mesh with evolving gender roles and concepts?

Respectfully,
Arielle Gingold

The challenge for the twenty-first century brotherhood is to mesh with evolving gender roles and concepts. We try to provide a local and national venue for men to explore how gender impacts their view of the important relationships in their lives: as sons, fathers, grandfathers and brothers; as straight men, gay men, partners and husbands. Most importantly, this exploration needs to take place physically and intellectually within the context of the religious stream that they still call home—Reform Judaism. The important point to remember is that gender does count. This is a critical aspect of what our members bring with them when they enter our sanctuaries.  We ignore it at our peril.  

 
#2
Given the chance to defend, advance or articulate a vision of brotherhood and sisterhood groups, I am very disappointed that both authors chose to do none of these. Why should we have these auxiliary groups? What role(s) could they play in our congregations and in the Reform Movement? What does the future look like?

Thank you,
Jordan Sarick

Jordan,
I honestly feel I answered your question and clearly articulated the vision of brotherhood but I’m happy to do it again. Why auxiliary groups? Because for some men in our Movement, being with other men, working with them on temple projects, kibitzing with them on Sunday mornings and sharing their life stories, the simchas and sorrows,  is the most spiritual encounter they have within the walls of our temples. We’re still trying to do what we did for our fathers and grandfathers. Sure temple life has changed, but when a brotherhood stops being one of the first welcoming venues for members, when it stops caring about men  and their families as people, when it stops making a difference in men’s lives, it should close up shop. I don’t envision that happening anytime soon. 

#4
I am concerned about the implications of a “Woman’s Torah Commentary.” This implies that our current Plaut Reform commentary is a men’s one, yet it already acknowledges the setting in which the Torah was written regarding gender roles. Do you think that this new commentary is divisive, causing further separation of men and women?

Steve Gerber
South Bend, Indiana

Steve,
I have to assume you wrote this before my second posting. Plaut’s commentary has never been the “only” commentary, just one of the more popular ones. No, I don’t think this new commentary is divisive, causing further separation of men and women. Women have legitimately argued that much of “history” has been just that, “his story,” and women’s voices have been silent. That includes our own Torah commentaries. The real challenge within our Movement: Meeting men’s spiritual needs and increasing men’s comfort level so they will take the time to read this and other commentaries!  Sadly, most adult men in our Movement never find the time  to engage in any kind of serious Torah study!  For too many men, “spirituality” is something only women possess. I wholeheartedly disagree with this proposition and I am not prepared to surrender the spiritual ground, be it our temple sanctuaries or our study halls, as women’s places only. This commentary, if utilized properly, is one of many opportunities, not obstacles, for men to explore a different perspective, and one from which they might learn and spiritually grow.  

#5
As the head of a woman’s group in the Netherlands, this discussion is very near to my heart. For us the woman’s group also offers women a role in Judaism that does not per se depend on the level of their Jewish knowledge and training, but on their making themselves available, their caring and wanting to help. Our woman’s group has a strong cultural role within the synagogue, looking to create cultural programs, as does another woman’s group here that I also belong to. But more and more often we are confronted with the question: What is the sisterhood good for, and what is their role in the twenty-first century? I don’t always have a satisfying answer to this.  

Kind regards,
Brenda Kaldenbach

A successful Reform congregation creates and maintains Community.

But to create and maintain that community with a capital “C,” it has to recognize that its members are diverse, with diverse needs and that, in fact, it is made up of lots of smaller communities. More often than not, these smaller units are created and maintained as co-ed communities, as they should be. But there is value in also creating and maintaining what I call “space’ for both women-only and men-only groups. It is not that they are better than the co-ed groups; it is that they are different. Just as successful congregations make a difference in members’ lives, for some men and their families, participation in their congregation’s brotherhood makes a very big difference in their lives—and they and the entire congregation are enriched by the brotherhood’s presence. We’ve been doing this for eighty-five years, and we will continue to search out ways to do this into the twenty-second century!