M'kom Shalom: A Place of Peace for Jewish Survivors of a Close One's Suicide
In contemporary life, despite the general increase in the numbers of suicides, surviving family and friends often find themselves alienated, blamed, and even shunned. Too often, those who have experienced this great trauma and loss are left to rebuild their lives with limited sources of understanding and support. This is true in the Jewish community as much as in the general community.
Since December 1999, on the second Wednesday night of each month, the New York Jewish Healing Center has offered a safe place for members of the Jewish community who have endured such a tragedy to draw support from one another and from the spiritual resources of the Jewish tradition.
Generally, 10-12 people meet for a powerful 90 minutes in our conference room. In the room are spouses and partners, adult children, parents, siblings, aunts and uncles, nephews and nieces, close friends...
Invariably, within minutes of the introductory go-around, when each participant shares their name and articulates the bare-bones headlines of what brought them to the group, a remarkable intimacy and relatedness emerges.
Despite differences in age, cultural or educational background, professional or socioeconomic status, religious commitment, etc., the shared experience of losing a loved one to suicide forges a bond not unlike that of an extended family. Commonalities in the odyssey of their loved one – often, though not always, related to loss, depression, personal crises, mental illness, or substance abuse – as well as mutual concerns, contribute to a basic trust and comfort level.
Issues that the group discusses relate to: male grief vs. female; what children do in memory of parents who die this way; the failures of the medical and mental health systems, or the greater power that the illness of suicide has over these systems; the sense that “I’m not grieving properly,” either too immersed in it or too involved in coping with life, or that I’m not moving through the ‘stages of grief’ in the right order or in the right way, etc. etc.; and the difficulties of returning to work.
Though, ultimately, we cannot arrive at final answers to all the questions or neat, complete solutions to all problems, the ability to express these challenges, to experience them as normal and shared with others, and to learn from others’ perspectives while drawing on Jewish texts and traditions, as appropriate, results in an extremely helpful and moving process of grieving and healing.
Monthly Group Meetings
2008 Dates: April 9, May 14, June 11, July 9, August 13, September 10, October (to be announced, November 12, December 10
From 6:30 - 8:00 PM
at The New York Jewish Healing Center/JBFCS
120 West 57th Street, 6th Floor
New York City
The program is Free of Charge with your Privacy Protected for Jews of all Backgrounds and Affiliations. This Supportive Network has been helping families since December 1999.
If you have any questions or would like to learn more about this group, contact Rabbi Simkha Y. Weintraub, LCSW via email or telephone at 212.399.2320 ext. 215.
If you would like to recieve any of our publications or have a specific request, please contact the Department of Jewish Family Concerns via email or telephone at 212.650.4294.
