Each year in North America thousands of people convert to Judaism. While each person's path into Jewish life is unique, there are many shared questions. This page is intended to answer some of these basic questions and to point the way to additional sources.
Why do some people consider conversion to Judaism?
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For many reasons. Often, an interreligious marriage sparks curiosity and a desire in the non-Jewish partner to share the religion of his or her spouse. Similarly, when an interfaith couple decided to raise children, the non-Jew may initially decide to explore Judaism in order to seek a common religious grounding for the family. Other times men and women who are seeking religious meaning in their lives, without any connection to a Jewish mate, find that Judaism offers them the best medium of religious expression.
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Do Jews seek converts?
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Centuries ago Jews did engage in missionary activities. This was particularly true during the Greco-Roman period of Jewish history when thousands of non-Jews living in Asia Minor embraced Judaism. The destruction of the Roman Empire and mortal threats against Jews who sought converts marked the end of formal organized efforts to missionize.
Judaism respects the integrity of other religious beliefs as well as the convictions of those who opt for no religion. At the same time, it is an open religion readily accepting and encouraging those who look to Judaism for fulfillment and guidance in confronting the challenges of life. In recent years the Reform Movement, through its Commission on Reform Jewish Outreach, has taken a more active approach to seeking out people who might choose to become Jews (This posting is an example of such an approach).
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How do I know if Judaism is right for me?
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The best way is to learn as much as you can about Judaism and begin to practice those aspects of Judaism that most appeal to you. Seek out Jewish friends, family members or a synagogue community for support. As you study and try out things Jewish at your own pace, you will gain a sense of comfort and be able to make your own decisions about next steps.
An excellent way to get a sense of the traditions and practice of Judaism is to take an Introduction to Judaism course. The Reform movement sponsors these courses throughout North America. Call a Reform congregation or complete this form to find out whether there is a class near you.
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If I take an Introduction to Judaism class, will I be expected to convert?
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No. These course are offered to anyone who wants to learn more about Judaism. They are most often attended by individuals considering conversion, by interfaith couples learning together about Judaism and making decisions about whether to have a Jewish home, and by born Jews who want to learn more about their own heritage. Although many people do take the course as part of their process of choosing Judaism, no expectations or assumptions are placed on people taking the class.
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If I decide that I want to become a Jew, how would I go about it?
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First, make an appointment with a rabbi. The rabbi will not only discuss the process and implications of becoming a Jew, but also explore with you your reasons for wanting to do so. In earlier generations rabbis would discourage potential "Jews by choice," turning them away three times in an effort to determine how serious they were. This kind of testing seldom occurs today, but most rabbis still endeavor to impress upon the person the seriousness of such a choice.
People considering conversion are expected to study Jewish theology, rituals, history, culture and customs, and to begin incorporating Jewish practices into their lives. The length and format of the course of study will vary from rabbi to rabbi and community to community, though most now require a course in basic Judaism and individual study with a rabbi, as well as attendance at services and participation in home practice and synagogue life.
Keep in mind that, as long as you live in a town with more than one rabbi, you are free to choose the rabbi with whom you will work. Talk to more than one rabbi; find a comfortable fit.
Your sponsoring rabbi will then become your guide every step of the way up to and through your conversion. If you don't know how to find a rabbi, you can call the Reform Outreach Coordinator in your area for assistance.
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If I become a Jew, would people refer to me as a "convert"? Is there some other more proper term to use?
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In Judaism people who become Jews are simply Jews, with no less than full Jewish status in every circumstance. For this reason, there is some objection to using any distinctive term in referring to a person who has voluntarily become a Jew. On the other hand, many people are proud to let others know that they are converts to Judaism. Also, as the number of people becoming Jews continues to increase and as various Jewish religious institutions develop programs to encourage and assist people in this process, it has become useful to talk more publicly about choosing Judaism. Consequently, a number of terms have come into common usage. These include "convert" and "Jew by choice," which are often used interchangeably. It's worth noting, however, that in North America today Jewish commitment is a matter of choice for all who come to it, whether by birth or conversion.
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If I become a Jew, what would be the attitude of other Jews towards me?
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Judaism welcomes those who voluntarily become Jews and considers them full-fledged members of the Jewish community. The Hebrew Bible, as well as later Jewish texts, include examples of individuals who made this decision. Probably the most famous and honored example is the biblical Book of Ruth, in which Ruth joins the Jewish people and eventually becomes the great-great grandmother of King David, from whose descendants, according to Jewish tradition, the messiah will come.
In our day most Jews welcome wholeheartedly those who have chosen to become Jews. Nonetheless, some Jews by choice report occasional offensive comments directed towards them.
Although the reasons for such attitudes are complicated, they are based on ignorance and prejudice, and are by no means sanctioned by Judaism. As more and more Jews by choice enter the Jewish community, as Reform Jewish Outreach promotes education about Jewish views of conversion and sensitivity to Jews by choice, and as public discussion of such a choice grows more commonplace, these negative views will continue to fade.
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If I convert with a Reform rabbi, will all rabbis consider me to be a Jew?
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Reform, Reconstructionist and under certain circumstances, Conservative rabbis recognize the validity of conversions performed by rabbis of all branches of Judaism. Many Orthodox rabbis, however, do not recognize non-Orthodox conversions. Your sponsoring rabbi will be able to discuss further any implications of conversion under his or her auspices for you.
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If I become a Jew, will I be expected to separate from my family of origin?
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By no means. Most Jews by choice maintain warm relationships with their families of origin. Conversion to a new religion does not suddenly make you over into something altogether new; nor does it cut you off from old family ties or memories.
However, some converts to Judaism find that, especially initially, their families may be hurt and confused about their choice. Such feelings often result from misunderstanding or a lack of knowledge about Judaism, and are therefore perfectly understandable. If it happens with your family, patience on your part, as well as a willingness to discuss your choices and to show your family that you've not abandoned them, will help immensely.
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If I decide not to become a Jew but have a partner who is, can our children be raised as Jews?
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Yes. Many interfaith couples have decided to raise their children as Jews. In many families today, non-Jewish parents play key roles in providing for their children's Jewish education, as well as creating a supportive Jewish home environment. The more you learn about Judaism, the easier this will be for you. Many Jews see such parents as the givers of a precious gift and blessing to the Jewish people.
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If I decide not to become a Jew, would I be welcome to worship in a synagogue with my Jewish family?
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Most Reform, Reconstructionist and some Conservative and Orthodox congregations warmly welcome interfaith families to participate in various ways in synagogue life. In following the famous verse from the Book of Isaiah [56:4] — "For My house shall be called a house of prayer for all peoples" — almost all Jewish religious services are open to the public, so you and your family would be welcome to attend. Sabbath services are held on Friday evening and Saturday mornings. Call the specific synagogue during the week to find out the times.
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If I'm not yet ready to convert to Judaism or if I decide not to, what options do my Jewish partner and I have for our wedding ceremony?
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This is a very sensitive issue on which there is a broad range of opinions. We encourage you to seek out a rabbi with whom you feel comfortable and have a thorough discussion about options.
No matter what kind of wedding ceremony you have, Reform Judaism considers itself a portal to Jewish life for intermarried families. Through organized Outreach programming and a general atmosphere of openness, an interfaith couple will find a welcome at Reform congregations.
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Where can I get more information about Judaism and the process of becoming a Jew?
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For the names of Reform rabbis in your area, and for more information about Reform Judaism, contact the Outreach Coordinator in the area closest to you. Their names, addresses and telephone numbers can be obtained in the Outreach Staff Directory. For more general information about Judaism, the books listed in the Recommended Reading section of the Web site offer easily accessible explanations and answers to more of your questions. Please be sure to see the URJ Press Web site.
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