The Making of Messy Maccabiah

It was a warm August day and I had shaving cream and chocolate syrup splattered across me. The “Messy Maccabiah” event for our middle schoolers was just ending. Seeing everyone cleaning whipped cream, maple syrup, and other condiments off themselves, I realized I was one of the lucky ones who escaped relatively unscathed. It was the silliest youth group event I had ever run! So how did it come to be?

It all began when I first became Temple Emanuel’s director of youth engagement. Within my first month, I met several of our middle schoolers and learned that TEFTY Jr, our sixth- to eighth-grade youth group, had minimal membership. The middle schoolers had no idea what TEFTY (our ninth- to twelfth-grade youth group) was or why they were the junior version. After bouncing ideas around, we renamed TEFTY Jr. to Emanuel Junior Youth or EJY (pronounced “edgy”) and soon afterwards, some of our seventh graders could be heard talking about “being EJY.” Not only is it hilarious to hear seventh graders call themselves “edgy,” it gave them a sense of identity that had been missing.

As the program grew, we called on TEFTY members to help plan and run EJY programs. The EJYites quickly got to know our high school leaders and built relationships with them. When signing up for events, the EJYites would ask me which TEFTY members would be there and would be disappointed if their favorite high schooler couldn’t attend. In addition to helping run events, the TEFTYites set an example of what post b’nai-mitzvah Jewish involvement can look like. The EJYites got to see Jewish teen empowerment in action and learn that kind of pride wasn’t just for the high schoolers.

In the spring, we convened the first meeting of the “EJY Committee.” While it wasn’t an elected youth group board, this committee of 6^th-8^th graders met twice in the spring to help plan the EJY calendar for the upcoming year. It was most exciting when the middle schoolers proposed event ideas, ranging from a “shul-in” to a “prank battle” with TEFTY; but we hadn’t experienced unanimous support for a program until one of our sixth graders spoke up and asked, “Could we do a Messy Olympics?”

I found myself with a group of excited middle schoolers, and armed with some of the best games 90s-era Nickelodeon TV could offer, planned the EJY Messy Olympics with input from our TEFTY board. Three TEFTY board members bravely put themselves in the line of fire (whipped cream pies in this case) and helped me run an event like no other. From a pie in the face relay-race to messy trivia with questions like, “Who was the first Jew in space?” our middle schoolers loved every minute. It all began from the simple concept of giving them a say in what happens. By letting them establish their own identity and help choose events, they gained ownership and commitment like they never had before. 

Through all the mess and laughter, my greatest moment was at the end when one of our sixth graders said goodbye to me and added, “I can’t wait to be in TEFTY so I can help run Messy Maccabiah for EJY!” While having fun, our middle schoolers began to learn how rewarding Jewish life can be beyond their bar or bat mitzvah. From TEFTY to EJY, helping to lead the next generation can be a powerful experience.

I wiped some shaving cream off, smiled back at her, and said, “Can’t wait!”

Ethan Lane-Miller is the director of youth engagement at Temple Emanuel in Cherry Hill, N.J. He and his congregation are part of the newly formed NFTY678 South Jersey sub-region. When he isn’t dodging whipped cream pies thrown by middle schoolers, Ethan can be found watching baseball, tackling a new Lego construction project, or enjoying board games. A native Texan, Ethan frequently returns home to visit friends, family, and bake in the oppressive heat.

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